'Suicide Machine' Offers Free Murder of Your Online Social Profile

In this era of constant friend requests and wall posts, one website is offering social networkers a quick and painless way to regain their pre-Facebook autonomy.

A Dutch company has created Web 2.0 Suicide Machine, a program that erases all the user’s personal information and posts from not only Facebook, but Twitter, MySpace, and LinkedIn as well.

Rather than deactivating its client’s online social network 

profiles, the Suicide Machine removes all private content and friend relationships. From Facebook, all friends, groups, notifications, and wall posts are erased; all friends are removed from MySpace and all business connections on LinkedIn; all followers and tweets are expunged from Twitter. The entire killing process takes less than an hour.

“Everyone should have the right to disconnect,” reads a blog post on the program’s site,www.suicidemachine.org. Seamless connectivity and rich social experience offered by Web 2.0 companies are the very antithesis of human freedom. Users are entrapped in a high resolution panoptic prison without walls, accessible from anywhere in the world.”

Once a customer avails himself of the Suicide Machine, the company suggests he regain the independence and freedom he is assumed to have had previously. “Try calling some friends, take a walk in a park or buy a bottle of wine and start enjoying your real life again,” the blog reads.